Monday blues

Oh how Mondays give me the blues. Had a great weekend though. Treated myself to a wine festival this weekend with my sister and best friend. It was a very enjoyable day filled with laughter and even a few tears. I love those ladies so very much.  My sister shocked me by her latest gesture. She got a tattoo in honor of the battle we are fighting and as he Memorial to our angels.  I am still in awe. What an honor.

image

I am still having some bleeding from the D&C last Friday. Dr said if it hasn’t stopped by tomorrow (since it started last Tuesday night) that I need to come in for an ultrasound. I am also still waiting to hear back from the the test results.  Today has been a rough one emotionally for me. Nothing has happened it’s just been crappy.

Well it’s over

Been home a while now resting with my ever so lovely electric blanket. The procedure went well. No real major pain just cramping and sore. I did hope he was wrong and would find a heartbeat when he checked again but reality came crashing down when I woke up. Gonna take it easy this weekend and just be kind to myself. Lord knows I am my own worst enemy. Thank you for all your prayers and support during this horrible time.

Can’t catch a break

This will be short and sweet. Went for another ultrasound today and there was no heartbeat. Why!?!  Why can we not have a baby of our own?!?  Pregnancy 3 has ended in a miscarriage as well. D&E scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and then genetic testing on the baby. I just want out take home baby

This is really happening

Went to the dr yesterday (sorry for not updating sooner). We are measuring 6w3d which corresponds with ovulation instead of lmp. Got to see our baby and see his/her little heart beating like crazy.

image

I am not ashamed to admit as soon as he turned the monitor around I started crying. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. And honestly I was having serious doubts that we would ever be here. I am to call my local ob and get on their schedule. Dr said one more visit next week and that’s all. Now my normal Dr said I would be seen every week through the 1st trimester (I see him next week so I will confirm with him) but if he is ok with what we were told then I will be ok with it to. However he did say when I call my ob to make sure I let them know about my uterine abnormality so they don’t treat me like someone with no issues. Oh and I am to stop progesterone at 10 weeks. Kinda nervous about that since I know that has been the key to getting this far.
We are over the moon and so so in love with our tiny little bean.

Tick tock tick tock

image

Well nausea set in on Friday (@ 6 weeks)  At first I thought it was because I waited to eat breakfast but after several days I have now realized that is not the case. Thankfully it’s not horrible (though at this point I will happily take any symptom I get) I am just grateful to be pregnant and have this one progress as it should. I have my first ultrasound on Thursday. Although it is right around the corner it and forever away! Just want to see this little bean and hear a heartbeat. ❤❤❤

Short version of the last 4 months

Well it has been a crazy few months. We went in Jan for it RPL consult. Had to wait over 2 weeks to get authorization from insurance and they still denied
Factor II and factor V. So proceeded with testing. 2 vials for hubby and 16 for me and then the month long wait begins. During the end of January we also came up on what would have been out first due date. Struggled with that quite a bit. Finally got results and all tests came back normal RE really wanted to factors drawn so I did and we just went ahead and paid for them. Those tests came back normal as well. I got the call the beginning of March that my uterus was to blame for our two loses and what our plan was going to be. I was put on 100 mg of progesterone suppositories twice daily from 3 days after positive opk. Now I had a nice long talk with myself about the fact that this could take multiple cycles due to my unicornuate uterus. Well you can imagine my surprise when I tested 11 dpo and got the faintest of lines. Holy Shit is this real???
Had beta done to confirm. First number came in low at 36, so one came in at 138!!! And my 3 draw on Monday was 385!!! Omg we are really pregnant! First u/s is scheduled for 4/30 @ 4 I will be 6 weeks and 6 days
I am still in total shock! Please let these next two weeks pass so we can see and hear this baby.
I will stay on the progesterone through the first trimester. Estimated due date December 18

Again our dream goes up in smoke

I know it has been forever since I posted so let me catch you up to date. Lots of work,  more work, or and more work lol.  Seriously though nothing much has happened until last week. I tested on the 22nd at the start of my cycle just to be sure. Bfn no surprise so on to the next one. I had some spotting on Thanksgiving so I tested on Friday just to be sure. Again bfn. So I started counting down to O day. Dec 6 more spotting chalked it up to a wonky cycle since it was the 2nd time in two weeks. Sunday it was gone. Monday afternoon it was more than spotting so a call to my RE it was and I bought a test for shits and giggles. Freaking Bfp! Here we go again. The test Tuesday morning was negative. I can’t catch a break. Get beta drawn and keep my u/s appointment for Wednesday.

U/s showed no pregnancy (I would have been 6 1/2 weeks) and my beta was 20. Welcome to another chemical pregnancy. Beta on Thursday came in at 18. RE said that I am now going to be tested for RPL.  We will be having our RPL consultation in January when my husband can take a day off (my RE is an hour and a half from us). Once we get insurance authorization we will both have the genetic testing done.

That brings me to today.

received_780774251993898.jpeg

I came across this and it spoke straight to my heart. So I am sharing this for all of you no matter where you are in your journey or what you have been through I know all of us can relate to this. I am not ashamed to say I cried the first time I read it and I cried tonight when I read it to my husband. Crazy hormones.

I forgot to mention we are to “take a break” until all testing is done. So by my calculations we are “breaking” until the end of February beginning of March. Testing won’t be done until late January and the results take 4 weeks to get back and assuming we can start trying right away once that happens.